


First Steps

by CrazyTaraWitch



Series: Finding Someday [1]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Angst, Swan-Mills Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-30
Updated: 2015-11-06
Packaged: 2018-04-12 00:02:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 13,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4457603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrazyTaraWitch/pseuds/CrazyTaraWitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I'm not leaving, Regina. I'm going to help you whether you like it or not. Our son is worried about you."<br/>"This is none of Henry's business. He isn't part of this."<br/>"Part of what, Regina? You can't just shut us out, not now. We're supposed to help you get your happy ending. I just want to help."<br/>"This isn't your story, Emma."<br/>"It could be."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Post-4A, ignoring anything that was revealed in 4B. This will be slow-burn, and primarily Swan Queen friendship/family-feels, but romantic Swan Queen is endgame. This story is basically fluff bookended by angst, but I promise a happy ending!
> 
> This story will be about 10-12K (with the potential for one-shot sequels if there's interest) and nearly all of it is written, which means there should be no long waits as most chapters just need editing.

_"Hey kid, what's up?"_

 

_"It's Mom."_ Emma immediately jerks to attention. Henry's voice is small and scared, and he sounds younger than he has in at least a year. She doesn't wait for an explanation as she jumps up and grabs her jacket.

 

_"I'll be there in 10."_

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Henry opens the door before she can knock and he looks so so pale. He pulls her into a hug and clings to her. She has to lean on her tiptoes now to rest her chin on his head, but she holds him tight against her and tries to steady her breathing. Minutes that feel like hours pass before Henry calms, but Emma keeps holding him as she asks, "What happened kid?"

 

"She--" he sniffles before continuing, and she notices for the first time that there's a wet patch on her shoulder from his tears. "She wouldn't let me call the doctor. She said she was fine but…" Henry shakes his head slightly before finally stepping back. "She's not fine Ma."

 

"Is she upstairs?"

 

Henry just nods and they walk together wordlessly. Emma's only been upstairs once before and never to Regina's bedroom, so she lets Henry lead the way, glad to be able to watch him closely as they go. She's relieved to see his feet are steady, but she doesn't dare look away just in case.

 

He turns left at the top of the stairs and as she follows she hears a faint keening that sends her heart racing. Henry stops outside a closed door, and when Emma joins him she can hear the cries more clearly. Regina is in there, sobbing, and she can't imagine why they're still on this side of the door.

 

Henry places his hands on hers when she reaches for the knob, stilling her movements. "She locked it shut with magic. She's been crying like that for nearly an hour and she won't let me in. You have to help her," he pleads.

 

"I will," Emma swears. She stands straighter and turns to face the door, pondering her options. "You should wait in your room," she decides after a moment, "it might be better if it's just me for now."

 

"She's my **mom** ," Henry argues.

 

"Exactly, kid. Protecting you comes first, and that means she doesn't want you to see her like this. It's different with me. I know what it's like to be broken."

 

Slowly, Henry nods and starts to turn away, but on impulse he turns back around and gives his mother a quick, tight squeeze before he darts down the hall and into his room. He pretends to close the door but leaves it open a crack and Emma knows he'll be listening, but she can't worry about that now; taking care of Regina is what matters.

 

Emma hears a distinct sniffle when she knocks on the door, but no other response comes and a moment later she calls out. "Regina! Let me in!"

 

"Go away, Emma." Her voice sounds beyond tired and almost raw. The blonde thinks it's a good sign Regina is calling her by her name, but not good enough.

 

"I'm not leaving, Regina," she insists. "I'm going to help you whether you like it or not. Our son is worried about you." _I'm worried too._  

 

"This is none of Henry's business," comes the sharp reply. "He isn't part of this."

 

"Part of what, Regina? You can't just shut us out, not now. We're supposed to help you get your happy ending." A moment of silence, then Emma adds quietly, "I just want to help."

 

"This isn't your story, Emma."

 

"It could be," she counters without thinking. She freezes at her own words and quickly back tracks. "I mean, we've got Henry, so I'll always be part of your story. We're family Regina; you're not getting rid of me."

 

Emma hears a heavy sigh, and a moment later the door swings gently open. Regina is curled up against the wall near her bed and won't look up, but she lets Emma in and the blonde knows it's a big step. She walks in cautiously, small tentative steps leading her closer to the now-silent queen. She's so busy looking at Regina that it's not until she goes to sit beside her that she notices the floor.

 

Emma feels sick the moment she spots the drops of red. Regina still won't look at her, but on closer inspection she can see that the older woman is sitting in a small pool of blood.

 

"Regina… What…?" The blonde trails off helplessly, unable to find the words as her mind races, fear coursing through her.

 

The older woman is silent for a long time before she croaks out, "I didn't know."

 

Emma's brow furrows in confusion. "You didn't know what, Regina? What's happening?" Her voice cracks on the last word and she knows she sounds desperate, but she can't bring herself to care.

 

Regina's words are a whisper when she finally replies. "I didn't know I wanted it. The baby. I didn't know…"

 

It all clicks in one horrifying moment of clarity. "You had a…"

 

"Miscarriage, yes," Regina answers sharply, voice tight. “I didn’t know what to do, and now it’s too late.”

 

It’s been 13 years, but she still remembers the fear, the knot that sat heavy in her chest long before she could feel the baby that grew there. She’d thought about getting an abortion; how could she not, 17 and in prison and alone?  
One night when she’d been not quite 3 months along, she made the mistake of imagining what it could be like, to be needed and finally have an anchor in the world, to have someone that looked like her and to be able to love freely; after that, even once she knew she couldn’t keep him, she couldn’t just… terminate. Deciding didn’t make the terror go away.

 

Regina’s life is different. She has a home and a job and a life. But she also has a past, issues she still has to struggle with every day, and she already has a kid, not to mention their lives are constantly in danger and she’s just had her heart broken. Adding a baby on top of all that would be a hell of a lot for anyone, though Emma knows if anyone could handle it it’s Regina Mills.

 

“I have been grateful for Henry every moment, but I’ve made so many mistakes. Raising another child alone… I didn’t know if I wanted that again.”

 

“Hey,” Emma says firmly, “you’re not alone this time. In case you haven’t noticed, you have a family now. I’m sure Henry would love to be a big brother. Regina, I promised I’d help you find your happy ending; if this is your happy ending, I’m here to help, however I can. I’ve gotten pretty good at diaper duty thanks to baby Neal,” she adds with a wrinkle of her nose. Wiping the ass of someone named after her ex was so not something she had ever needed to experience.

 

Emma’s face falls slightly when her comments fail to elicit a response, but a moment later her heart constricts when Regina finally speaks. “It doesn’t matter now. Whatever could have been is gone; further proof that I don’t deserve a happy ending.”

 

“Damn it Regina, that is bullshit. You deserve a happy ending as much as anyone!” the blonde fumes. “You’re not a villain anymore. You’re just a person with a past who’s trying to be better. Shitty things happen, but that doesn’t mean you deserve them. Any kid would be lucky to have you as a mom.” Regina sniffles slightly. “Have I ever told you how glad I am that Henry got you?”

 

At that Regina’s head finally shoots up, eyes searching Emma’s face as if seeking out the lie.

  
  
“Regina, you gave him a home. You gave him _love_. You may have been the Evil Queen, but you taught our kid how to be good; his heart is all you.”

 

The darker woman stares at her for a long moment, tender and vulnerable in a way Emma has so rarely been allowed to see, before her face crumbles again. “I wanted it Emma. I was afraid and I didn’t know… But I wanted it. In the end I lose everything I want.”

 

“Not everything; not Henry,” Emma reminds her. “We’ve still got him, and that’s not nothing. And you’ve still got me.”

 

“Yes, I suppose I do,” Regina admits softly. Their eyes meet and Emma offers her a small smile.

 

“Come on, let’s get you to the hospital,” Emma suggests firmly, standing up as she speaks. “You need to see a doctor, and then you need to eat a lot of ice cream.” Regina makes a sound that could almost be a laugh, and Emma feels a moment of triumph that only grows when the brunette takes the hand she offers and pulls herself up.  
  
  
“You get ready, I’ll just tell Henry we’re leaving.”

 

Regina nods and Emma turns away, but just as she reaches the door she hears a soft voice call out behind her.  
  
“Emma? ...Thank you.”

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should probably have mentioned, I can't make consistent chapter lengths to save my life.

“What are you saying?” Regina asks stiffly. Emma had seen the light in her eyes a moment ago, but she had squashed it just as quickly as it came, afraid to hope.

 

“I’m saying, you’re still pregnant,” the nurse explains kindly. “You didn’t lose the baby.”

 

“But, how is that possible? The bleeding…” Emma asks in confusion. “I’ve been pregnant, and bleeding is not normal.”

 

The nurse sighs softly, glancing at the sheriff but addressing Regina when she speaks. “This pregnancy is a high risk due to your age and your history of miscarriage, not to mention your daily stress levels. Dr. Whale thinks the blood is a concern but not an emergency. You will need to slow down and take things easy for the next eight months. We’d also like for you to have more frequent check ups, just to ensure the pregnancy is progressing okay, and you’ll need to start taking prenatal vitamins right away. There’s nothing special you need to do at this point; just take care of yourself and allow those around you to take care of you.” The nurse’s gaze meets Emma’s then and the blonde nods her head in understanding; no way she’s letting Regina put her health or her baby at risk.

 

Looking back to Regina, the nurse offers a gentle smile. “Do you have any other questions today? Anything I can help you with?”  
  


 

“No, I… No,” Regina states more firmly. “I believe I need a little time to process.”

 

"Alright Mayor Mills, then I think that’s everything for today. I have some papers for you to read over, about things you should be doing to help the baby and what you should avoid. Now before you go, I see you don't have an emergency contact on file; would you like to put one now?"

 

"Sheriff Swan," she answers easily. Emma's head whips around to stare at the other women with a mixture of shock and pride. Regina rolls her eyes dismissively, ignoring Emma and addressing the nurse. "We share Henry, it only makes sense for her to be informed should anything happen to me."

 

"Of course, I'll add it to your chart. If you have no further questions, you're welcome to change back into your clothes and leave when you're ready. Just remember to come back for your appointment in a week, get lots of rest, and let the sheriff take good care of you."

 

Regina scoffs at that, but her eyes flicker to Emma for just a moment. Their eyes meet and Emma thinks maybe, just this once, Regina will finally let her in.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

“Regina, there’s something I have to ask.”

 

The mayor sighs. “How did I let this happen?” she guesses. “How could I be so foolish.”

  
  
“Hey, no. That’s none of my business. I got knocked up at 17, remember? I’m not one to judge.” She reaches out and tentatively places her palm on Regina’s hand, smiling softly when the older woman doesn’t pull away. “I just wondered, do you want me to find Robin? Let you two figure this out together?”

 

Regina looks startled and remains silent for a long moment. “I hadn’t thought about it,” she admits. “He already has a family; I just assumed…” She looks down, pulling her hand out from under Emma’s as she curls slightly into herself. Emma aches to reach out and pull her into a hug but forces herself to remain still.

 

“It’s your choice, and you don’t have to decide now. Just know the offer’s open if you want it, any time; I’m not going anywhere. Literally,” she adds with a grin.

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Regina asks suspiciously.

 

“You heard the nurse, you need someone to look after you. It only makes sense that it’s me.”

 

A dark eyebrow rises sharply. “And what, exactly, makes you qualified?”

 

“First of all,” Emma begins smugly, “I’m pretty sure your options are either me or my mother, so unless you want 8 months of Snow braiding your hair…” Regina stiffens at that and Emma tries to hide her smirk. “Secondly, we’ve got Henry. If I stay here I can help you and get time with the kid.”

 

“So you want to stay here? Like, move in?”

 

Emma shrugs, affecting a casualness she doesn’t feel; she knows it will hurt if Regina turns her offer down, even if she’s not really sure why it suddenly feels so important that she live in this too-perfect house that she’s never much liked. “It’s no big deal. Even without Henry the loft is a little crowded these days, and Neal’s going to need his own room soon. I’ve been thinking of moving out anyway.”

 

Emma tries not to hold her breath as Regina deliberates, but she feels her whole body relax when the brunette finally speaks. “I suppose that would be… acceptable. For Henry’s sake.”

 

Emma grins. “Of course. Don’t worry, Madame Mayor, I won’t get the wrong idea and think you actually like me.”

 

Regina rolls her eyes at that. “Idiot.”

  
  
Emma’s grin only grows.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is slightly anti-Robin/anti-OQ. It’s very mild, but it addresses issues that Regina needs to deal with for this story to move forward.
> 
> Sorry this took so long to get up! I really struggled with Regina and Emma's (first) conversation this chapter, and I'm still not happy with it, but I decided to post it anyway. Sorry if it's a little rough!  
> Chapter 4 should be up this weekend.

It surprises Emma how quickly she settles into life at 108 Mifflin. Regina gets up at precisely 6am every day of the week, while Emma and Henry struggle out of bed at the last possible second, sometimes sleeping close to noon on weekends. When Emma straggles downstairs there’s always a pot of coffee, and a glare waiting for her if she dares to suggest that Regina cut out the one cup she allows herself each day.

 

On weekdays Regina makes breakfast, ostensibly just for Henry but it hasn’t gone unnoticed that Regina has started frying the eggs just how Emma likes them, slightly runny in the center. Emma makes dinner each night, usually with Henry’s assistance, but despite the blonde’s protests Regina always finds a way to help, and the two women clean the dishes together each night. Despite Emma’s presence Regina has made few concessions to her independence, but Emma comforts herself with the knowledge that she’s there should Regina ever admit to needing anything.

 

Her new room at the mansion has quickly become undeniably her space. David and Snow had grudgingly helped her move in, reluctant to see her go, Regina outwardly complaining about only being allowed to watch the baby but cuddling and cooing at him any time she thought no one was looking. The following weekend Henry had helped her decorate, Regina relegated to sitting on the bed and criticizing Emma’s childish taste.

 

 

Despite Henry’s hints that it would fit better in his room, the Sheriff’s Avengers poster hangs in pride of place, surrounded by a statue of Buffy Summers on one side and a real sword on the other.

One wall holds Snow’s touch, full of family photos in frames that are frillier than her daughter’s tastes. Most prominent is a picture of Emma and Henry after a soccer match during their year in New York, both grinning with Henry covered in mud, but dotted around it are smaller snapshots of the Charming trio; Henry with his grandparents; Emma, Mary Margaret, and Ruby having a ladies' night before the curse broke; Henry and David swordfighting; Neal held by his big sister on the day he was born; and even one of Regina and Henry grooming his horse at the stables.

The opposite wall is still as bare as every home Emma had had before Storybrooke, but the large window looks out into the trees of the backyard and she can watch the sun from her bed in the late morning. The bed itself is adorned with her baby blanket, a pillow Snow had made her for Christmas, silk sheets of Regina's that cost more than a month's rent at her last apartment, and a blanket decorated with wolf pups that Ruby had given her as a joke.

 

It’s homey; it’s home.

~*~*~*~*~*~

“Hey Regina?” Emma asks tentatively one night just two weeks after moving in. She hopes the bowls of ice cream before them, and the stomach that has finally settled after nausea that lasted far too long to be call ‘morning sickness,’ will have mellowed the other woman enough for this conversation.

 

“Yes, Emma?” She’s licking her spoon with so much focus Emma’s surprised she can take her mouth away long enough to speak. It’s oddly mesmerizing, and for a moment she nearly forgets what she wanted to say.

 

“How did it happen--the baby? I know it’s none of my business, but I thought you guys weren’t together after Marian came back. I mean, the couple of times I saw you together it seemed like you didn’t want him around.”

 

Regina sighs, dropping her spoon as if her appetite has suddenly disappeared, and Emma feels a surge of guilt. She wishes she could take the question back, let Regina return to enjoying her treat in peace, but the words are out now, and even if it’s selfish she can’t help wanting to understand.

 

“It was complicated,” she starts slowly. “We weren’t together, exactly, but he was… persistent… about wanting to see me. A bit like you actually,” Regina adds with a small smirk. Emma’s belly squirms at that, but she can’t tell if the feeling is good or bad. “He had been seeking me out quite often, usually under the guise of checking on my progress towards curing Marian, but other times he admitted it was simply because he missed me. I asked him for space, but I suppose it was hard for us both to be apart.” Regina pauses, and Emma can’t help thinking that she doesn’t really like the sound of this, Regina’s ex refusing to leave her alone. Maybe it would be romantic if he’d actually wanted her back, if he’d decided choosing Marian was a mistake, but that doesn’t sound like the story Regina’s telling.

“One night he’d been drinking, and he came to find me in my vault. I asked him to go, but instead he kissed me. I hadn’t been kissed like that in so long… full of need. I tried to resist, but the feeling of being wanted, finally, was too strong, and I gave in. We had sex, and then we left, and a few days later Marian was unfrozen.”

 

“Wait… So Robin pressured you? And it was in your vault?” Emma asks, wrinkling her nose.

 

Regina stiffens. “He didn’t **pressure** me,” Regina says archly. “I enjoyed it. I would have done it again--preferably in a bed.”

 

“Yeeeah,” Emma says slowly, doubtfully. “You may have enjoyed it, but did you **want it**? Or was it just what Robin wanted?”

 

Regina looks away, not meeting Emma’s gaze. “I’ve been forced before, Emma; I know what that feels like. I was married to that.” Her voice is hollow and Emma is at a loss for how to respond. “I could have stopped it, with Robin, if I’d wanted to. He wouldn’t have forced me.”

 

“But he didn’t ask you either,” Emma observes quietly. “Maybe you didn’t fight it, but you also didn’t choose it.”

 

“What do you know about choice?” Regina scoffs bitterly. “I had my choice taken away at 17 when I was made to marry the king. I didn’t choose to have my True Love killed, or to live in a castle as a prisoner. I didn’t choose for my son to hate me, or for my curse to be broken. I didn’t choose to be tortured, or for Henry to be kidnapped. I didn’t choose to send you and Henry away thinking I’d never see you again. I didn’t choose Robin, but is it so wrong to try, for once, to make the most of what was chosen for me?”

 

“Hey, I’ve had a hell of a lot of choices taken away from me too. I didn’t choose to be sent through a magical tree, or to be sent to prison. I also didn’t choose for Henry to come find me, or to be some magical Savior, or for my parents to be fucking _fairy tale characters_ ; I didn’t choose those things, but I wouldn’t change them. I wouldn’t give up our kid or my parents, or even this crazy town, for anything. So I know about making the best of things when you don’t have a choice, and finding a way to be happy.

“But Regina, you aren’t without choices anymore. Don’t you want some say in your life? We both know what it’s like to rejected, and I get how good it can feel to be wanted, but you deserve more than that.”

 

“You think I just have people lining up wanting to bed the Evil Queen? Robin was all I had. Who else would want me?”

 

“Anyone with eyes?” Emma tosses out without thinking and flushes instantly, but she continues as if her words were intentional and unimportant. “You’re hot and you know it; even when you were the ‘Evil Queen’, I can’t imagine you ever being short on willing lovers.”

 

“And what if I want more than to be _**fucked**_?” Regina huffs. Heat coils in Emma’s belly at the word, but the brunette is still talking and she stamps down the feeling, telling herself she’s merely surprised to hear the eloquent Queen so crass. “What if I want to be wanted for me, not for my body?”

 

Emma is silent for a moment before she quietly responds. “Did it feel like that with Robin? Having sex in your vault because he wanted to, after he'd chosen someone else. Did it feel like he wanted more than your body?”

 

Regina stills and remains silent. Nearly five minutes pass before Emma gets up and heads to the stairs, murmuring “Good night, Regina,” without looking back.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Regina raises a curious eyebrow when she walks into the living room to see Emma eating ice cream straight from the carton.

 

“I broke up with Hook,” the younger woman explains. Regina looks surprised. “What?” Emma asks warily, fearing another judgmental reaction like her mother’s.

 

“Nothing, I-- I simply assumed you already had. You hadn’t mentioned him in a while.”

 

“Oh,” the blonde mumbles, pale skin faintly blushing. “I guess I’d kind of been… done… for a while. But after our talk the other day I realized how wrong things felt.”

 

“Our talk?” Regina asks in confusion.

 

“When we talked about Robin the other night,” Emma clarifies. “I was telling you not to just give in or let yourself be pressured when that’s exactly what I’ve been doing. Killian wanted me, and it felt good to be wanted, but mostly it was just easier not to fight it. But that’s bullshit, and I don’t want to be with someone because it’s what they want. I want to choose, and I’d rather be alone than be in a relationship just because everyone else thinks I should be.”

 

“I don’t think you should be,” Regina offers, dropping on to the couch beside Emma. “You deserve to choose your life.”

 

Emma looks sideways at her, meeting her gaze and smiling warmly. “So do you Regina. You deserve to have everything you want.”

 

“I want this baby,” Regina admits, sounding more sure than Emma’s heard her before. “I want this. And realizing I want this also makes me realize what I don’t want. I’m tired of having things chosen for me; I want to make my own life, to choose my own fate.”

 

“So what does that mean?” Emma asks, feeling as if she’s standing on a cliff, unsure whether she’s going to fall or fly.

 

Regina sighs faintly. “It means that I care about Robin, but I don’t want to be forced into a life with him. If he came back because of the baby, we wouldn’t be together because of us. I don’t want to be trapped, or tied to him out of obligation. I’ve had more than enough of that for a lifetime. I can barely manage to raise a child with you,” she adds, attempting a levity she doesn’t quite reach, “I have little interest in trying to raise one with someone else.”

 

“You know, we do already share Henry. There’s no reason me helping has to end when the baby’s born. I could be like, a fun aunt or something. Teach the kid to play ball and talk back.”

 

“Yes, because you’ve been such a wonderful influence on Henry.”

 

Emma grins. “Our kid’s awesome and you know it.”

 

“Well, I can’t argue with that,” Regina agrees with an easy smile, shocking the woman beside her when she reaches over and steals the spoon from her hand to grab a bite of cookies and cream. “I’m pregnant,” she defends easily when Emma gives her an incredulous look.

 

Emma shrugs and goes to the kitchen for another spoon. When she returns she takes a bite then looks to Regina. “So, you don’t want me to find Robin?”

 

Regina shakes her head, sinking further back into the couch, so close to Emma their shoulders nearly touch. “No,” she admits, “I’m good with things just as they are.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a short one, but I like it well enough that I didn't want to risk ruining it with a bunch of filler. Also, I did warn that this fic will be excessively fluffy.

One night when Emma gets up to use the bathroom she hears noises from Regina’s room, what sounds like a voice talking softly. It’s after 3a.m., and emma’s lived here long enough to know by now that Regina’s not a night owl. They’re undoubtedly friends now, but they’ve never been the kind to hang out in each other’s rooms, and Emma hesitates before knocking. Relief spreads through her when she hears a gentle, “Come in.”

 

Regina is sitting up in bed, and though there are no lights on, the glow from the moon through the window is enough for Emma to make out her outline and the expression of awe on her face. “Come here,” the older woman urges softly, and in two quick strides Emma is at her side. Emma is stunned when Regina reaches for her hand, but when she places it on her round belly Emma understands.

 

“The baby’s moving?” she asks, trying to contain her excitement.

 

Regina nods, a wide grin blossoming across her face. “”This morning, I thought it was just indigestion, but when I woke up to use the restroom I could feel it. Like somersaults.”

 

Regina’s hand guides Emma’s to a spot just below and to the left of her belly button, and the blonde can no longer hold in her grin when she feels a tiny kick. Without thinking she perches on the edge of the bed, and she doesn’t hesitate to scoot closer when Regina moves over to make more room.

 

“When I was pregnant with Henry he would always wake me up at 5a.m., kicking up a storm. I thought for sure he’d be a morning person.”

 

“He used to be,” Regina informs her, sinking into the pillows behind her and letting her eyes drift shut. “Until he was 3, he was always up before the sun. Then he became afraid of the dark, and after that if he woke before morning he would crawl into bed with me; we’d snuggle until he fell back asleep. Eventually, he didn’t wake up at 4 or 5 anymore, and perhaps it was selfish but I missed him crawling in to bed and cuddling. I missed him being my little boy.”

 

“He’s still your little boy,” Emma reassures her. “He’ll always be yours.”

 

“But he’s not so little now, and he’s not only mine anymore.”

 

Emma’s hand tenses where it still rests against Regina. “Do you really mind so much?”

 

“No,” Regina admits, stroking Emma’s hand in what the blonde assumes must be an unconscious motion. “I don’t mind so much at all.”

 

Emma feels her cheeks warm and is glad for the dim light that she hopes hides her flush. “He is way too tall though. Kid’s barely 13, and he looks like he should be driving.”

 

“Don’t say that,” Regina chastises. “Before we know it he’ll be wanting to head off to college.”

 

Emma groans. “Nope, he definitely has to stay a kid forever. Can’t you cast another time-freezing curse or something?”

 

“And be pregnant for 28 years like Miss Boyd? I think not.”

 

“Humph. It’s not fair,” Emma whines, “You get a brand new one that’ll be tiny and cute and need you.”

 

“You could have a baby of your own,” Regina points out, and Emma suspects there's a hint of sincerity behind the teasing. “I’m sure the pirate would be happy to assist you, or any of the other single men in town.”

 

“Nah,” Emma answers without thinking, “there’s nobody but you I’d want to share a kid with.”

 

It’s Regina’s turn to blush, and Emma decides to turn the conversation back to safer waters. She asks to hear more about Henry’s childhood, and it’s not long before Emma drifts off to a tale of the time their son, age 7, nearly burnt down the kitchen trying to bake apple pie.

 

When Emma wakes in the morning, sunlight is pouring in the window and Regina’s side of the bed is cold, but the smell of pancakes and coffee is drifting up from the kitchen and a pillow has been propped under her head, and she thinks even this --waking up in Regina’s room and an unfamiliar bed, exhausted after a late night chat-- feels like home.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for another short chapter; the next one is longer, but probably won't be up for a few days.
> 
> There is no explanation for Gold’s presence in Storybrooke except that it’s convenient. Just go with it.

"Hey kid, what's up?" Emma asks with a grin. Henry's visits to the station are rare these days and it always makes her happy when he thinks to drop in.

 

Henry sits across from her, and her smile fades as she notices his grim expression. "Do you know why my mom would be meeting with Mr. Gold?" he asks nervously before hastening to add, "I know he's my grandpa and I'm trying to trust him, but it always goes bad when Mom goes to him. I just want her to be okay."

 

Emma frowns, but forces herself to sound optimistic. "I really don't know kid, but I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about. I'll find out, I promise."

 

A small smile flits across his face, a hopeful gleam in his eyes. "Are you gonna do a stakeout? Follow Mom and find out what she's up to? We could call it Operation Eagle."

 

"Slow down Henry. I have another plan, one that's practically fool-proof."

 

"What's that?"

 

"I'll ask her."

 

Henry sighs glumly, and Emma’s lips twitch with a hint of a smile at her son’s disappointment. Moments like this, he’s still the kid who tracked her down 3 years ago, longing for adventure and change. Exhausting as it can be at times, she hopes he never loses that.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Emma waits until Henry’s gone upstairs to finish his homework after dinner. She and Regina have just finished cleaning the dishes, an activity that always seems to relax the older woman for reasons Emma has never understood, and they’re now sitting on opposite sides of the couch, evening reading before them but not yet opened.

 

“So what did you do today?” When Regina tenses at the question Emma fears she failed at sounding casual.

 

“I went to work, dear,” she replies tightly. “What did _you_ do?”

 

Emma sighs; clearly Regina isn’t going to make this easy. “I know you went to see Gold.”

 

“And?” Regina’s voice is sharp now, harsher than it’s been towards her in months. “What business is it of yours, Miss Swan?”

 

Emma flinches slightly at the title but holds her ground. “I’m your friend, Regina,” Emma reminders her. “I just want to make sure you’re okay. I’m here to help.”

 

Regina glares at her for a long moment before deflating with a soft sigh. “I simply had a few legal concerns, and Gold happens to be the only lawyer in town. I promise I didn’t make any foolish deals.”

 

Relief floods through Emma at the other woman’s words; she hadn't realized how tense she's been until she feels her body relax at the assurance. Despite her reassurances to Henry, she had feared the worst. “And everything’s fine? With you and the baby?”

 

“Yes Emma,” Regina confirms with a small smile, a hand unconsciously drifting down to rest on her growing bump, “we’re good.”

 

“Good,” Emma says with a grin. “Any chance you’ll tell me what ‘legal concerns’ you had?” Regina arches an eyebrow and the blonde chuckles. “Yeah, I thought not. Still, you might want to reassure Henry; the kid was worried about you.”

 

“Yes, well, he has his mother’s habit of getting into other people’s business,” the brunette says pointedly.

 

“You can be a bit nosy,” Emma teases, “but the first step is admitting you have a problem.”

 

Regina rolls her eyes. “Shut up and read your book, Sheriff.”

 

“Sure thing, Madam Mayor,” the blonde agrees, eyes twinkling as she reaches for the graphic novel she'd borrowed from Henry. They fall into a comfortable silence as Regina slips her reading glasses on and opens _What To Expect When You’re Expecting_. They spend the evening reading side by side until Regina finally drifts off, feet curled up beside her and brushing against Emma’s leg.

  
When Emma hears a sleepy snuffle from the woman beside her she smiles warmly before grabbing a soft blanket from the back of the sofa and draping it over the older woman, gently removing her glasses and brushing her fingers lightly against a soft cheek. As Emma turns toward the stairs, she misses Regina’s eyes fluttering open and watching her go.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably my favourite chapter of this story, and it's longer than usual. Hopefully it will tide everyone over, as it may be next weekend before I can get chapter 7 up. Enjoy!

“Mom,” Emma sighs, “I don’t think she’s going to want a big fuss.”

 

“But, she’s having a baby!” Snow insists. “We have to celebrate!”

 

“Yes,” Emma concedes, “I’m all for having a baby shower. But that doesn’t mean we have to invite half the town, or have streamers and party games.” Snow pouts and Emma resists the urge to roll her eyes. “Fine, we can put up a few streamers, but nothing cutesy. And no birds,” she adds firmly. Snow’s face drops farther, but she nods her consent.

 

“We have to invite all the teachers, and Henry’s friends, and everyone from Town Hall,” Snow says matter-of-factly.

 

“No. We have to invite the people Regina would actually want here, which happens to be a much smaller list.”

 

“Emma,” her mother whines, “we have to be polite. We don’t want to offend anyone.”

 

“This isn’t about the town, Mary Margaret, this is about **Regina** , and the baby. So we’re going to do this the way Regina would want it.”

 

Snow nods in defeat, seeming to accept that her daughter is calling the shots. “Alright, so who should we invite?”

 

“Kathryn, Ruby, Granny, and Tink,” Emma lists off. “Plus us, and David and Henry.”

 

“What about Belle? Or Ashley? Oh, and Will! And Killian of course.”

 

Emma tries not to wince at her ex-boyfriend’s name, or her mother’s attempt to be casual about it, as if mentioning him is nothing to do with wanting he and Emma back together. “Mom, I don’t think Regina cares about seeing Hook, and neither do I.”

 

“But--”

 

“No, Mom. Stop trying to push us back together. I don’t want to be with him.”

 

“But you need someone, Emma! I don’t want you to be alone. You could be so much happier with a partner.”

 

“What makes you think I even want to find a man?” Emma huffs.

 

“What, you’d rather find a woman?” Snow asks sharply.

 

“So what if I did? I’ve told you I’m bi, Mom.”

 

“Yes, yes, I know. But your life would be so much easier--”

 

“Don’t you dare say my life could be easier!” Emma cuts her off, nearly shouting now. Snow seems stunned by her anger, but she can’t seem to stop herself, memories of years of judgemental guardians bubbling to the surface. “My life was ‘easier’ before I ever came to this town, before I met my kid or his mom or heard the word Savior. Did that mean it was better? Better when I didn’t have my parents, my family, when I didn’t have friends or a home? Easier isn’t always better, Mary Margaret. I’m happy with my life, and if I find someone to share it with maybe that would make things better, but I don’t care if it’s a man or a woman, and I’m okay on my own. I need you to respect that.”

 

“Of - of course,” Snow stammers. “Of course I respect you, Emma. I’m your mother, it’s my job to worry. But I just want you to be safe and happy. Your father and I will support you no matter what, Emma, I hope you know that.”

 

“Yeah, I know,” she sighs. “Let’s just… focus on Regina, okay? She and Belle have too much history, and I don’t think I’ve ever even seen her talk to Ashley or Will. We could invite Archie, but even that’s pushing it.”

 

“Oooo, Archie would love to come!” Snow enthuses, excitement finally returning. “He can bring Pongo.”

 

“Yeah, good luck getting Regina to let a dog in the door.”

 

“Oh, Regina’s soft at heart,” Snow dismisses.

 

“Yeah,” Emma agrees with a soft smile, “she really is.”

 

The rest of the afternoon is spent peacefully planning, the date set for a Sunday two weeks away. Emma’s heart swells at the thought that the baby is getting close, but she also feels a sense of dread at the thought that her time living on Mifflin street may soon be over.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Emma doesn’t realize just how mellow Regina’s been until she comes home one afternoon in a huff. The brunette bites her head off when she offers to help remove her shoes, but at Emma’s hangdog expression she quickly apologizes.

 

“Emma, I’m sorry. I know you’re just trying to help. It’s simply been a frustrating day.”

 

“What happened?” Emma asks as they head to the kitchen side by side, Emma already knowing this will be a night for ice cream.

 

“This afternoon was my first _birthing class_ ,” Regina informs her, spitting out the phrase as if it were poison on her tongue.

 

“And what? They showed a birthing video and it grossed you out?” Emma guesses.

 

“Dear, I ripped out hearts for decades; nothing ‘grosses me out’,” she asserts with an eyeroll. “The instructor was merely an idiot--and not the endearing kind.”

 

“What did they do?”

 

Regina huffs. “That **woman** implied it was impossible to give birth without a partner.”

 

“Well that’s crap,” Emma comments, offended on her friend’s behalf. “Of course you can do it on your own. Doesn’t mean you have to though.”

 

“What’s _that_ supposed to mean?” Regina asks sharply.

 

“It means you have help, Regina. If you want a birthing coach, I can go with you.”

 

“I don’t need your pity, Miss Swan.”

 

“It’s not pity, Regina, it’s friendship. We’re friends, and I care about you, and I want to help.”

 

“You would really want to be with me when I give birth?” Regina asks skeptically.

 

Emma shrugs nonchalantly. “I would have wanted someone with me. And I promised to help you get your happy ending; this baby is part of that, so I’m not going anywhere.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“I’m being kicked out of my own home?”

 

“Just for an hour!” Snow defends. “We’re going to set up for the party while you and Henry get lunch.”

 

Regina looks pointedly at Emma. “I’m holding you responsible. This better still look like our home when I get back.”

 

“You got it boss,” Emma teases, causing Regina to roll her eyes with a smile. “Go eat, I’ll keep her in line.”

  
  


They’re putting up the final streamer, this one sky blue, when Henry comes bursting in the front door, Regina trailing just behind. “Ruby’s on her way,” Henry relays happily. “Does that mean the baby shower can start?”

 

“Woah, slow down kid,” Emma says with a chuckle. “We’ve still got half an hour, but you can help us get ready. Why don’t you go check on the cookies?”

 

Regina overhears this and calls after him, “No sampling!” When Henry fails to respond his brunette mother turns to Emma. “His sweet tooth is entirely your fault,” she accuses playfully.

 

“Says the woman who scarfs down ice cream every night!”

 

Snow’s eyes bounce between them, an uncertain smile spreading across her face as they continue to banter.

 

“That’s the baby’s fault,” Regina defends. “I was a healthy eater before I was pregnant.”

 

“Oh please! You put cheese on everything, and I’ve seen how you scarf down the fries at Granny’s.”

 

“It’s not my fault Granny’s fries are delicious, and Henry likes it there.”

 

“Yeah yeah; you’re just a secret junk food junkie.”

 

“My dinners are not junk food,” Regina bristles.

 

“No, but you don’t exactly turn down burgers when I bring them to you for lunch.”

 

“Well you should stop bringing them to me then,” she points out.

 

“You’d miss me,” Emma counters confidently.

 

“Yes, how would I possibly survive 10 hours without watching you stuff your face?”

 

“Your days would be dull without my wit and charm,” the blonde boasts.

 

“If by ‘dull’ you mean tactful and pleasant, _Princess Charming_.”

 

“Alright ladies,” Snow finally cuts them off, two heads whipping around to face her as if her presence--or indeed the rest of the world-- had been forgotten. “Fun as this is, we need to get the food ready. Regina, you make the salad, Emma and I will set everything out.”

 

Regina nods and heads to the kitchen, but before Emma can follow her mother pulls her aside with a strange twinkle in her eyes. “You two are certainly getting along well.”

 

Emma blinks at her in confusion. “yeah, I guess so? We’re friends, and we live together and share Henry, so it’s good that we get along.”

 

“Yes, of course,” Snow agrees with a knowing smile. “It’s nice to see you both happy.”

 

Before Emma can ask what her mother means by that, a knock sounds. Emma gets the door and Ruby enters with a big grin and even bigger hugs for Snow and Emma. By the time the presents from her and Granny are set up on the gift table and she has a glass of lemonade in her hand, the other guests are arriving, and any curiosity about Snow’s implications is gone from Emma’s head long before their next moment alone.

  
  


“Okay, this is the last one,” Snow announces with a bright smile. Regina reads the tag and falters for just a moment when she sees it’s from Kathryn. She opens it to find several onesies in greens, yellows, purples, and blues and smiles graciously, thanking everyone again for their gifts and support, but Emma sees the tightness around her eyes, the disappointment well-hidden on her smooth features. The blonde wonders whether any of the guests noticed that there was no present from her.

 

After everyone leaves, Regina pushing Snow out the door insisting that she’s not an invalid and is still perfectly capable of cleaning up her home, Emma notices the older woman seems polite yet distant, stiff in a way Emma hasn’t missed these last months.

 

“You should go upstairs,” Emma finally suggests when the dishes have been cleared. “Rest. Let me finish up down here.”

 

Regina is reluctant at first, but the blonde nudges her along, waiting barely a minute before following. She finds Regina standing in the entrance to the nursery where Emma had intentionally left the door wide open to draw her attention.

 

Gone are the light blue walls from Henry’s infancy, replaced by a deep forest green decorated with Henry’s addition of an apple tree he had painted just above where his old crib now sat waiting. Against the opposite wall is a bassinet carved in deep wood, which appears to have captured Regina’s interest.

 

“I had Marco make it. He dropped it off while you were gone.”

 

Regina doesn’t respond, but she steps closer, lightly running reverent hands over the smooth wood. Her fingers trace the ‘Mills’ carved intricately on the side, then wander to the mobile hanging above. Emma’s breath catches as she wonders once again if it was the right choice, gifting Regina’s child with the glass unicorns that were once meant for her.   
She had been hurt when her parents didn’t use the mobile with Neal, until Snow gave it to her and explained that the unicorns were special and hers. Emma doesn’t know what role she’ll have in the baby’s life, but she wants them to have a piece of her, and the mobile is the best she has to offer. The blonde breathes a sigh of relief when Regina’s inspection moves on to the soft stuffed horse resting inside. The brunette brings it up to her chest and holds it against her before finally whispering “Thank you,” voice so thick Emma wonders if she’s hiding tears. When Regina finally replaces the toy and turns to face Emma, she offers a watery smile. “It’s beautiful.”

 

Emma shuffles awkwardly, suddenly self-conscious. “Henry helped, he painted the tree. All I did was the walls.”

 

“You did a lot more than that,” Regina counters softly, and before Emma knows what’s happening the brunette steps closer and pulls her into a hug.

Emma’s arms instinctively wrap around the shorter woman’s waist, pulling her tighter and feeling her swollen belly press against her own. She’s aware of so many things at once; the smell of Regina’s apple shampoo and the softness of her hair against Emma’s cheek, the way Regina’s hands wrap perfectly around her shoulders, the curve of her spine, the rise and fall of both their chests as their breathing begins to sync, the tears pricking at the back of her own eyes, and most of all the fact that they have never once done this before.

 

There have been touches, a hand on the back or a gentle pat on the arm. She supposes there have even been hugs, in a way, each of them wrapped around Henry and their arms meeting in the middle. But never has it felt like this.

 

Whatever moment may have passed between them is over all too soon when the baby makes their presence known with a kick hard enough that Emma feels it and takes a small step back.

 

“We haven’t forgotten you, little one,” Emma addresses the bump as Regina reaches down and strokes her belly. “This is all for you, and everyone is excited to meet you.”

 

“Just don’t come too soon,” Regina warns the baby sternly. “You have 9 weeks left in there, and I intend to suffer through every minute of it.”

 

“Hear that kid?” Emma asks with a mischievous smile. “You gotta wait until you’re at least two to disobey your mom.”

  
Regina gives her a disapproving look, but Emma can see the hint of a smile and merely grins.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is super important, and I wish I could say I'm happy with it but I really struggled with this one. I'm sorry it took me so long to finish; I'm hoping not to have more than a week between each of the remaining chapters, but I can't make any promises.

It’s a Tuesday night when a knock comes on her door. She’s on the edge of sleep but instantly jerks awake.

 

When Regina enters her room she’s pale and tense. All she says is “Something’s wrong,” and then everything moves in slow motion as Emma jumps out of bed and pulls on the jeans she’d discarded an hour ago and slips into her boots. She had worn a tanktop to bed and doesn’t bother with another shirt as she rushes to the door. Regina has said nothing else, but they move together wordlessly down the stairs.

 

It’s only as Emma unlocks the Bug that Regina finally murmurs “Henry,” sounding torn.

 

“He’s 13, he’ll be fine for one night,” Emma states decisively, and Regina nods, getting into the car without complaint.

 

The short drive to the hospital is silent and tense, not a word spoken until they’re standing in front of the secretary in the ER.  
“There was bleeding,” Regina says in a rush, usual composure nowhere to be found, “and I think I’m having contractions.”

 

Emma’s heart sinks at Regina’s words; bleeding is never good, and it’s too early. She’s only 34 weeks, the baby isn’t ready yet. The blonde feels her panic rising as a frightened Regina continues to explain things to the woman behind the desk, and she takes deep breaths to try to calm herself. She needs to be the steady one; she’s here for Regina, and she forces herself to focus on that. A nurse comes rushing in and ushers Regina into a wheelchair, Emma following close behind without thought.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Emma marvels at how calm everyone is when it feels like her world is about to fall apart. The nurses are acting like this happens every day, and she’s torn between gratitude and outrage at how easily they’re taking all this.  
  
Regina, on the other hand, is petrified, silent once again except to answer the questions that are asked of her. Now that they’re out of the car and Emma can watch her properly, it’s not hard to see the ripples of pain that shoot through her every 90 seconds as her uterus contracts.  
  
Once the fetal monitor is in place, Emma curses herself for thinking things were already as bad as they could get. In under 5 minutes the term ‘fetal distress’ is being thrown around, and without thinking the blonde grabs Regina’s hand and grips it tight, feeling an answering squeeze even as dark eyes refuse to meet her own.

 

They’ve already started an IV, and the nurse who hangs some medicine that’s supposed to stop contractions --Emma remembers just enough high school chemistry to know magnesium is a metal and wonders how the hell that’s meant to stop labor-- offers what’s meant to be a reassuring smile, but another nurse is starting an IV in Regina’s other arm, and the blonde is certain two IVs and two nurses can’t be a good sign.

 

The first nurse, an older woman with dark blonde hair, is trying to explain things, but Emma feels like her mind is in a fog, and it’s all she can do to keep breathing in and out as she watches the other nurse hang fluids.

It’s the younger nurse, Angie, who finally catches her attention when she mentions the word “c-section.” She rests a dark hand on Emma’s arm as she explains that even if they can stop the contractions, if the baby isn’t getting oxygen it may be the only way to save them. After a gentle squeeze she exits the room, and Emma and Regina are left alone.

 

Regina’s eyes are fixed on the monitor, though Emma is sure the lines mean nothing more to the brunette than to her. Her face is pale, and Emma is painfully reminded of a day 7 months ago when a crying Regina thought she’d lost her baby.

 

Emma’s never been one to pray or to believe in much of anything, but if the last three years have taught her anything it’s that there’s a hell of a lot more in the world than she can explain, and she finds herself begging anyone and anything that will listen to keep Regina from ever knowing that loss for real.  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Nearly 20 minutes pass before Whale comes to see them, by which time Emma’s worked up a sweat from pacing back and forth.  Angie is with him and silently takes Regina’s vitals as he questions everything the expectant mother had done for the last 24 hours. Emma feels her blood begin to boil with each new question. How dare Dr. Whale imply this is Regina’s fault?? It’s a sign of Regina’s terror that she doesn’t lash out, but it takes all of the Sheriff’s self control to remain calm.

 

It’s Angie who tells them when the decision is made. The baby’s not getting enough oxygen and Regina is still losing too much blood, her blood pressure continuing to drop. They’ll be back in a few minutes to prep her for surgery, and Regina asks Emma for a moment alone. To prepare herself, she says.

  
  
It’s only when she sees a purple glow under the door and returns to find Regina unconscious that Emma fearfully wonders what she meant.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Three nurses come rushing when Emma cries out, but it doesn’t take long for the blonde to realize they’re as clueless as she is. It’s only when they mention that the baby’s heart rate has improved that the Savior begins to understand; it was Regina who did the saving this time.

  


Dr. Whale waits until the surgery is over to come find her. The baby is small, but strong. Emma lets out a broken laugh when he tells her Regina’s daughter is doing better than expected for her age, because _of course she is_. Of course she’s fine with her mother’s magic flowing through her. But what of Regina? What of the woman who gives and gives and gives until she has nothing left?

  
  
When will it be Regina’s turn to thrive?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember at the beginning would I said this would be fluff bookended by angst?
> 
> Also, for anyone wondering this was my attempt to describe a placental abruption. Sorry for any inaccuracies. (I'm a nurse, but not an OB nurse!)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm aware that Whale is probably out of character, but at least that means he's not as sleazy.

“What’s going to happen to the baby?” Henry asks quietly. Emma’s heart sinks further; she’s been so focused on worrying about Regina she’d nearly forgotten about the tiny bundle lying on a warmer in the nursery.

 

Dr. Whale looks at Henry for a long moment, but when he speaks he directs the words to the boy's blonde mother. “We’ll need to keep her for a few days for observation, just to make sure she’s healthy after the complications, but then she’ll need to be taken home.”

 

“So, we can just take her?” Emma asks uncertainly. “Henry and me, we can take her home until Regina’s better?”

 

Whale raises his eyebrows in surprise. “Of course, Sheriff. You are aware that you have custody?”

 

“I-- what?”

 

“Mr. Gold submitted the paperwork 3 months ago. Should anything happen to Mayor Mills, you have the right to make decisions about her care, and you gain full custody of her children. Until Regina wakes up, the baby is yours, Sheriff Swan.”  
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  


“Hey, little one,” Emma murmurs gently, reaching into the crib and placing a hand against the baby’s soft forehead.

“I’m Emma. I’ll be taking care of you for a while, until your Mommy gets better. Your mom would know exactly what to do, but we’ll figure it out together, okay? We’ll get through it kiddo, and when Regina wakes up she is going to be so happy to meet you. She already loves you so much, and I’m sorry she can’t be here, but I’ll do my best to fill in. We’ve already got a room waiting for you, and there is a big brother who is so, so excited to get to know you. We’re gonna take care of your for your mommy, I promise.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Currently, we're giving her medication to keep her heart rate and blood pressure elevated enough to sufficiently pump blood throughout her body. The average resting heart rate is 60 to 100 beats per minute, and while a lower rate isn't a concern when there's adequate blood pressure, both are currently low for Mayor Mills. For now we have her heart rate stable at around 50, which is lower than the doctor would like but not low enough to cause problems right now.

Obviously, her coma is a concern, but she is responsive to pain which is a good sign, and hopefully as she continues to recover she’ll wake up. In all other respects she's doing well. Her oxygen status is currently being maintained with a simple nasal cannula, which is just a small tube that puffs air into her nostrils, and we're hopeful that a ventilator won't be necessary. She's as healthy as could be expected at the moment, and now we just have to wait for her to heal."

 

"And how long is that going to take?"

 

Angie sighs. "There's no timeline on this I'm afraid. If she remains stable and her body is able to make repairs, it could be a matter of days, but it's impossible to know for sure, and you shouldn't worry if it takes longer. Of course, should any complications arise her recovery will take longer, but for now we should all focus on the fact she's stabilized, and try to provide the best support we can."

 

“So we just leave her like this? There’s nothing you can do?”

 

“It’s up to her now. She’s a strong woman, but especially with the drain of her magic there’s simply no way to know how her body will respond. Dr. Whale has run all the tests he can, but it seems that her problems are as much magical as physical, and magic is even hard to predict than the human body. Only time will tell.” The young nurse looks at her patient for another moment, then turns and leaves the room without another word.

 

As soon as the door shuts behind her Henry speaks up quietly. “I don’t want to leave her. If it were me, she wouldn’t leave.”

 

Emma slumps into the chair beside him and wraps an arm around his shoulders, bringing his head closer to rest against her. “I know kid, I don’t want to leave her either. But we’ve got your sister to think about. She’s gonna need her big brother, especially while your mom can’t be with her.”

 

“We can all just stay here,” Henry insists stubbornly. “We can stay here with Mom.”

 

“Henry…” Emma sighs. “That’s not a way for any of us to live, especially a baby. It’s not what Regina would want.”

 

"I know," he admits quietly, conceding only reluctantly. “We have to come back every day. We need to be here when she wakes up.”

 

Emma feels a pang as her treacherous brain wonders whether that ‘when’ should be an ‘if’, but she refuses to take away Henry’s hope. “Every day after school,” she agrees. “You can do your homework here, and I’ll come by after work.”

 

“The baby has to come too. She can’t forget who Mom is.”

 

“We won’t let that happen kid, I promise. We’ll tell her about your mom every day. But she’s got a whole nursery waiting for her, and Regina would want her to be there, not stuck in the hospital.” Henry nods, but he makes no movement to leave.

 

“You stay here while I go get your sister,” Emma suggests, “then we’ll stop by Granny’s to pick up dinner and head home.” Henry nods again, lifting his head and settling back into his chair, but doesn’t look away from his mother.

 

“It’s okay to be scared, Henry. I’m scared too.” She walks out the door without looking back.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Can you take your sister out into the hall? I’m just gonna… I need a minute, okay?” Henry nods, leaning down to kiss Regina on the cheek before he turns and takes the baby gingerly from Emma’s arms.

 

The door remains open and Emma pulls a chair close to the bed for privacy. She haltingly reaches out and rests her hand atop Regina’s, wishing more than anything that she would feel the older woman move beneath her, but she remains still. The word ‘lifeless’ floats through Emma’s mind and she angrily tamps it down. Taking a deep breath, she begins to talk.

 

“You might not believe this Regina, but I miss you. I wish you were awake to see how beautiful your daughter is; her hair is black like yours, and I think she’s gonna look like you. She’s strong, you made sure of that. She’s strong and healthy and beautiful, but she still needs her mom.

“I want you to know, I’m going to take care of her. You gave my kid the best life I could have hoped for, and I’ll do my best to return the favor. I’ll never be the mother you are, but I’ll love her and take care of her, I promise.

“Just, get better okay? Get better and come back to us.”

 

She sits there for a few moments longer, staring at the woman who never once in 3 years has looked as calm and peaceful as she does now. It feels cruel, this serenity when her life is on the line.

 

Emma thinks she would rejoice right now to see a hate-filled glare or a condescending smirk, but the face before her remains blank, and after several seconds she gets up to leave, glancing once over her shoulder before she walks out the door.  
  



	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many apologies for how long this took! On the upside, my best friend convinced me to write an epilogue, so there will be one more piece to this story after chapter 10.

“Have you talked to Gold yet?”

 

“Yeah,” Emma sighs. “Still no answers.” She’s seated on the floor beside the baby, legs crossed and one hand absently stroking a small rounded belly. Snow inwardly marvels at seeing the reserved blonde interact so naturally, receiving and offering physical comfort as she’s never seen her do with anyone else.

 

Snow shakes her head slightly to return her focus to the problem at hand. “Did he at least say what happened? What Regina did?”

 

“He says it was just an energy transference. Like she gave part of her… life force or something, to keep the baby safe.” Emma’s free hand clenches, and her mother wonders whether she’s angrier at the world or at Regina.

 

“She would do anything for her family,” Snow observes quietly.

 

“Yeah, except actually stay with us,” Emma mutters bitterly. “She’s always so willing to sacrifice herself, like she has to prove something. Why can’t she just realize we’d rather have her here?”

 

Snow slides off the couch, sitting beside her daughter. She reaches out and grabs Emma’s clenched fist, gently wrapping it in her own hand. “You know why, Emma. I know you think that I don’t see you, that your father and I are looking for you to be our perfect little princess, but all we’ve ever wanted is you. We love you. All I have ever wanted is for you to be happy and safe, and with us. But I know you Emma; I know that sometimes, you still don’t feel it. The way you grew up… the life you’ve had, it’s hard for you to believe that anyone wants you. And it may have taken me a lifetime to understand, but it’s the same for Regina.”

 

“I know,” Emma sighs again. “I know. I just wish she could understand that things are different now. That she’s loved. It’s not like I wish she hadn’t saved the baby. Every time I look at her…” Emma drifts off, eyes poring over this perfect tiny person beside her. “Regina should be here. She’s supposed to be here with me, raising our kids.”

 

“Our?”

 

Emma stiffens and avoids her mother’s gaze. “I’m just gonna put her down for a nap,” she says tensely. “I’ll be right back.”  
  


Snow watches her daughter go, precious bundle cradled against her chest, and for one traitorous moment she thinks how much motherhood suits her.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Emma,” Snow begins cautiously after Emma returns, “she needs a name.”

 

They’ve had this conversation before, but the longer it goes the more Emma knows she’s right. It’s not fair to the baby, but then none of this is fair. She should have Regina here. Regina would have known what to name her. Emma’s never named anything in her life; she never even had a fish, and now she’s supposed to name a child, one that’s not even her own?

 

Nothing in her life has ever worked out like she planned, but somehow this seems especially cruel for how close it was to perfect.

 

Every day Emma is struck by some tiny thing she wants to share with Regina. It’s been 4 weeks, but every day when she says good night to Henry and comes back downstairs she expects to see Regina pulling out the ice cream. When she wakes each morning, for just a moment she can swear she smells coffee.

 

Regina should be here. She should be the one to name the baby, the one cuddling her, the one loving her. But instead it’s all down to Emma.

  
  


Logically, Emma knows she’s not alone. Snow and David would help in an instant, and Ruby has offered to pitch in; even Belle or Granny would babysit if she asked.

 

But she doesn’t ask.

 

Emma is adamant about doing this on her own, allowing no one but Henry to help beyond the occasional diaper change. She can’t save Regina and she can’t undo what happened, but this she can do. She can get up with each 2am feeding, comfort each cry, wipe away each tear. Caring for this baby is the one and only thing Regina has ever asked of her, and Emma plans to see it through for as long as it takes.

There’s a part of her that’s happy, and she hates herself for it. She’s happy to be in this baby’s life, to love and raise her as she feared she wouldn’t get the chance to. Being with Regina’s daughter feels so right, and yet being without Regina feels so wrong, and it leaves her constantly unsettled. All Emma is truly sure of is that she wants to do right by this child, for as long it’s her responsibility and privilege.

 

Naming the baby just feels so… permanent. Emma’s held off and held off, but she’ll be one month old tomorrow and Snow is right - it’s time.

 

She’s known the name for a while, but she still doesn’t know if Regina will approve.

 

She wanted a name with meaning, a name that stood for something or someone. A name like Henry’s.

 

The problem is, there were few people Regina had ever loved, and the blonde’s skin crawled at the thought of calling the baby ‘Cora.’

Then there was Zelena. Regina had wanted so badly to give her a second chance, and she wanted Zelena to be a chance for her to have family outside of Henry. She had wanted to redeem Zelena and be redeemed by her; to do right by someone, and help someone else to do right. Wasn’t that what she wanted for the baby?

 

And yet, ‘Zelena’ seemed like a burden to place on the child, especially in this world. Emma had decided it was better suited to a middle name than a first; and that way, if she's wrong that Regina would want the baby named after her sister, it would be an easy fix.

 

Which had left the blonde to search for inspiration for a first name elsewhere.

 

When the name came to her she knew it was right, but even now two weeks later she fears she couldn’t defend it to anyone else. But really, who except Regina is owed an explanation anyway? Better to have an imperfect name than no name at all.

 

Finally, Emma looks at her mother and speaks, voice sounding far more confident and firm than what she feels. “Natasha. Her name is Natasha Zelena Mills.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
“Hey kid,” Emma greets her son with a tired smile as she enters the hospital room pushing the stroller in front of her. Henry looks up at her and Emma is amazed to see the spark in his eyes that has been gone for so long now.

 

“She opened her eyes,” Henry says confidently, and the blonde feels her heart skip a beat. “It was just for a second, and Dr. Whale says I might have imagined it, but I know it was real. She’s going to wake up.”

 

Emma thinks she’s never wished more strongly than in this moment that she could share her son’s unwavering belief.

 

“Henry, there’s something I need to talk to you about,” she says carefully as she sinks into the chair beside Henry. Her son instantly freezes, waiting for the next bombshell that’s going to throw their lives into chaos, and Emma curses herself for sounding so ominous. Aiming to smooth things over she blurts out, “I named your sister.”  
His eyes widen and she quickly backtracks. “I mean, I came up with a name, but I wanted to check with you first. You know your Mom better than anyone.”

 

Henry nods in approval. “Okay, what’s the name?”

  
  
Emma pauses for a moment, wondering how best to explain herself; Snow had accepted her decision without comment, but this is Henry, the kid questions everything. She has to sell it. “Remember our first movie night right after I moved in?” Henry nods, looking slightly confused but remaining silent, listening intently. “We watched all those comic book movies your mom pretends not to like. Do you remember who her favourite was?”

 

“Duh, Black Widow. She is pretty badass.”

 

“She is, just like your Mom. She reminds me a lot of Regina; strong, smart, trying to make up for her past.”

 

“Mom’s Black Widow and you’re Captain America,” Henry states simply, as if it’s obvious. “Except,” he adds with a wrinkled nose and a faint look of disgust, “it would be way too weird if they had a kid together.”

 

“Yeah,” Emma agrees with a light chuckle, “can you imagine them as a couple? She’d tease him all the time and never let him have a moment’s peace.”

 

“That does sound like you and Mom,” Henry points out with a grin. Emma nudges him playfully, and if only for a moment, things feel easy. “So, what’s the name? We’re not calling her ‘Black Widow,’ are we?”

 

Emma gives her son an exaggerated eye-roll. “Natasha, actually,” she corrects. “Think your mom will approve?”

  
  
“It’s a pretty name. But mostly I think she’ll like that you picked it,” he says with a shrug. “She named one kid, you named the other. It just seems right.”

 

Emma blushes faintly as she stares at the darker woman lying before her. Henry says it so easily, Emma finds herself wondering if it really is that simple in his head. Two moms, two kids, one family. She wishes she could believe like he does. She wishes Regina was here to help her figure it all out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Naming a baby is really hard. Originally, she was called Zelly, which I still think is super cute, but I eventually decided it wasn’t a realistic name for Emma to give Regina’s kid. It took me ages to come up with an alternative and I’m still not thrilled with this one --my reasons are what I attribute to Emma, and they’re probably out of character, but I got a bit desperate. Given that, I probably should’ve just brushed through it and not given a reason for the name but… well that would be far more sensible than I ever am.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for this chapter taking forever; I’ve had some writer’s block and I’m still not happy with it, but I decided it was time.  
> This is probably the most rambling chapter I’ve ever written, which given the rest of this story is saying rather a lot. I feel like it’s far from my best work, which makes me sad because I’ve been really excited about this chapter since the beginning; this story deserves better, but I don’t seem to have ‘better’ in me right now.  
> I know everyone’s getting a little annoyed with me over Regina’s continued absence, but I promise a happy ending is coming. And if you’re still unsatisfied at the end of this chapter… Well, just remember that originally this was going to be the end, so don’t hate me *too* much!

“But we have to dress up! It’s Natasha’s first Halloween,” Henry insists.

 

Last year he had claimed that 13 was too old for costumes, but when the day came and Snow prepared to take Neal trick-or-treating for the first time it was clear Henry was jealous. Regina smirked faintly before disappearing to a back room. When she returned a few moments later, she presented their son with a small bundle of cloth.

Despite being 7 months pregnant, Regina had spent two weeks sewing a costume and even deigning to borrow a sword from David in the off-chance that her young teen would embrace his childhood one last time. With minimal embarrassment, Henry changed into the costume, looking the part of a fairytale prince as well as his grandfather ever had, and accompanied his uncle and grandparents, leaving his mothers home watching movies on the couch.

 

This year, it seems Henry is looking for a different excuse.

 

“Kid, you are welcome to dress up, and if it means so much to you we’ll find a costume for your sister. But I don’t see why I need to join in.”

 

“Mom always used to dress up with me,” Henry counters to Emma’s surprise.

 

Distracted from the argument by her curiosity, Emma asks, “Really? What did she go as.”

 

Henry shrugs. “Usually a witch. When I was 9 I even got her to be Winifred Sanderson.”

 

“Who?” Emma asks in confusion.

 

Henry’s eyes go wide. “Winifred Sanderson? Of the Sanderson Sisters?” Emma continues to look at him blankly. “Ma, have you never seen Hocus Pocus?!”

 

“Um, no? Is that some… magic movie?”

 

“It’s only the best Halloween movie ever!” Henry replies indignantly, taking it as a personal offense that his mother is so ignorant. “I dressed up as Dani.”

 

“Who’s he?”

 

“ **She** is the only one who knows magic and witches are real, plus she’s funny and she loves Halloween.”

 

“So basically she’s you?” Emma teases.

 

“No way, I’m way braver! She’s awesome, but she’s scared all the time. I was never like that,” Henry insists.

  
  
“Uh-huh,” Emma counters disbelievingly. “Seems like I remember your mom telling me about a reoccurring Big Bird nightmare that sent you running to her bed once a week.”

 

“I was 3! I can’t believe Mom told you about that,” he grumbles.

 

Emma grins. “Hey, I missed out on 10 years of embarrassing you, your mom’s just trying to help me make up for lost time.”

 

“Poor Tasha is never going to survive with the both of you.”

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~

"Look at you Tash!" Emma proclaims in excitement as she watches the girl take a tentative step towards her. She watched her parents go through this a year ago with Neal and couldn't imagine how that much enthusiasm could be genuine, but as she watches brown eyes sparkle and thin lips spread in a grin as this tiny person she adores wobbles towards her outstretched arms, her heart swells and she finally gets it. She has the memories Regina gave her of Henry at this age, but they've faded so much she'd forgotten the feeling. She can't imagine forgetting this moment, the pride and love she feels, and the constant war between joy and guilt that she's the one Natasha trusts, that hers will be the arms to wrap her up tight. Emma knows Regina should be here and she wishes she could see the woman's dazzling smile as she watches their daughter's first steps.

 

Emma cringes at the thought. _Her_ daughter; Regina's. Emma is… someone important, but she's not forever anymore than any of her own fostermothers had been.

 

Natasha places one tiny hand on Emma's right arm and then the other on her left when she gets close enough, uses Emma for balance as she walks closer and falls into her chest. As Emma wraps her arms around the baby and swings her high into the air in celebration, all other thoughts leave her mind; what matters in this moment is she's here, and she can do her best to give this little one the love she deserves while Regina can't.

 

"Tasha Tasha Tasha!" Emma coos in excitement, grinning up at the giggling face above her.

 

"Ma! Ma!" Tash calls back. Emma feels her heart stop and for a moment she forgets to breathe. She lowers her arms and cradles Natasha against her. Her heart is back to normal now but it aches in her chest.

 

"Oh baby girl," she whispers, tears welling up in her eyes. "I'm not your Ma. Regina, she's your Mommy." Emma pulls her head back and looks at the bronze skin and black hair that are so like her mother's. She thinks Natasha might have Robin's nose, and her eyes are a hint lighter than Regina's, but in every other way she's a spitting image of her mother. She's stubborn too, and full of fire; Regina would adore this tiny person she created.

 

Regina should be here. Oh how Emma wishes Regina were here.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Natasha said her first word today," Emma murmurs. Regina doesn't stir, but when Emma reaches out and holds her hand her heart speeds up just a little. It's happened more and more in the last weeks, Regina's heart rate going up when Emma talks or her fingers twitching at Henry's touch; Snow swears she tried to speak two days ago, but no one else heard it. Dr. Whale says it's a good sign but not to expect miracles; progress is still slow, and there's no telling when, or if, she'll wake up.

 

"She called me Ma," Emma continues, voice thick. "I tell her about you all the time, tell her how much you loved and wanted her, how much you wish you could be here. But I guess she's heard Henry call me Ma and picked it up. I'm sorry, Regina. I never meant to take another kid away from you. You're an amazing mom, and Henry misses you every day. We all do. David still talks like you're just, gone for the weekend or something; like you'll be home before we know it. But I miss you Regina. You were my friend and I miss you. You should be here; you're supposed to be here. You should be watching your amazing daughter grow up, seeing the wonderful big brother our son is. You're supposed to be here. So just… Come back to us, okay? Come back to me.”

 

Emma feels the tears fall and doesn’t bother to wipe them away. When the first drop lands on Regina’s hands, the blonde could almost swear she feels her fingers twitch against her own.

 

“I never got the chance to say goodbye Regina. But you know what? I don’t want to say goodbye. It’s been almost a year and I still can’t let you go. Maybe that’s selfish, but this can’t be forever Regina, it just can’t. You belong with us. You belong with me. I wish I knew how to fight for you, because I swear if I had the first clue I would never stop. But I don’t know how to reach you and I am just… so fucking sorry. I don’t want to fail you. I’m trying to do a good job with the kids, I am, but we’re supposed to be in this together. God Regina, we… we’re supposed to be together. I don’t even know what that means, I’ve never had a family before, but you’re it. You and Henry and Natasha, you’re it for me.

 

“If you were awake right now I’d never be brave enough to say all this, but I wouldn’t care cause at least you’d be here, glaring at me and calling me ‘Miss Swan’ and ignoring everything that’s built between us over the last four years. It was four years last month that we met, four years on my birthday. Henry couldn’t understand why I was sad and didn’t want to celebrate. But you weren’t there to glare at me or offer me cider or make thinly veiled threats. Nothing feels right without you; everything is just, incomplete. Tasha’s first birthday is soon, and you better be there okay? She’s already this little person who’s starting to walk and talk and refuses to wear hats or eat anything orange. She’s growing up without you, and I know what it’s like to miss out on that. I don’t want that for you, or the baby. She needs her mother. We all do.”

 

Emma glances at the clock and sighs. “It’s almost Tasha’s bedtime, I gotta head home.” She stands and looks down at Regina, reluctant to go. She leans down and whispers, “This isn’t goodbye.”

 

There’s no flash of white light when her lips touch Regina’s forehead. There’s no dramatic curse-breaking, world-shattering moment. There’s just soft, cool skin, a fluttering of dark eyelashes, and then as she pulls away one word breathed out in a sigh.

  
_“Emma.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back to debating whether to do an epilogue or a short sequel series. The sequel series would have a few detailed moments over the months following this end; the epilogue would give a general idea of what their life is like in about 4 or 5 years and have one detailed flash-back to shortly after Regina wakes, to show sort of an abridged version of how they become a proper family. 
> 
> If anyone has an opinion on which I write, please voice it in the comments!


	11. [This is not an epilogue]

Since nearly everyone requested it when asked, there is now a sequel to this story! Go over and read the first chapter of the sickeningly-fluffy Side Steps.


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